Sold To The Alphas I Hate

Chapter 406: Jason’s Reason

Jason’s POV

She continued, trying to control herself from crying more, "I didn’t remember how long I was in prison before you two came to see me. I longed to see at least one person I knew and wanted to tell them that I didn’t mean to kill her. That it happened by mistake. I wanted plead for someone to believe me, but no one ever showed up.

"And when I saw you finally, I wanted to say it all. But... but you didn’t ask. You stayed silent."

Tears rushed down her cheeks, her voice choked.

"I knew I had truly killed your sister, and I deserved all the hate and punishment for it. But I still wanted you to hear me say that it was a mistake, that please don’t hate me for it. But I never got a chance to say it. No one ever asked, not even you."

With so much regret in my heart, once more I could only apologise to her. "I am sorry. I am truly sorry."

She opened her teary eyes to look at me. "Why didn’t you ask? Why did you stay silent? I always wondered why?"

"Will it help if I tell you?" I asked.

She offered a nod. "I might hate you less."

Just a while ago, she said she didn’t hate me, but now, hearing her, I felt better. I deserved to be hated for failing her.

I began, "When I saw the proof that you truly shot Alice and killed her, it was a great shock. I couldn’t believe the girl I loved could kill my family member. I didn’t want to believe it at all. But then that video of you shooting her, and the video with Keiren, and what he told us about how you helped him get the secrets of the pack and killed our people, destroyed almost the entire pack... it was the greatest betrayal I could ever feel. I loved you, but... it was useless before the betrayal and hurt I felt."

My voice broke. "Then, suppressing the pain of Alice’s death, I went to battle with that asshole Keiren’s pack. Even when he was dying, he said the same thing, about how he used you to destroy our pack, about how he enjoyed fucking you..." my words trailed off, "all kinds of bullshit he said, as if he was determined to turn us against you, even at the cost of his life. Then Sophia said the same thing as you. And there were the proofs we couldn’t deny anymore. We were so much in pain, that nothing felt right anymore."

"When I returned after we killed Keiren, Jennifer died as well. Her death was what killed every emotion inside me. Jennifer was everything to me, more than just being my mother. She made sacrifices for my sake, just so I could live. My own mother could never do what she had done. With her, she took away the life she had put in me."

Tears made my vision blurry, my voice choked. "Jennifer was so important to me, Eira. She was everything. I lived just so I could be what she wanted me to be. If there was a day I had to choose between you and her, I would have chosen her. If not for her, I wouldn’t be living anymore to even meet you. I can never forget her sacrifices, the poison she had to swallow just to protect me who wasn’t even her flesh and blood."

I didn’t know how much Eira understood from it, but I just wanted to say it all.

"When I came to the prison with Lucian, I was dead inside. I had nothing to say to anyone or to ask. All I knew was, I loved someone who destroyed my family, killed those I cherished, and broke me. I had nothing left in me, Eira. I had been living only for Lucian’s sake. I didn’t want him to lose the only family that was left for him. I wanted to protect him to make up for what Jennifer had done for me. Even now, I would die just to protect Lucian.

"I am not telling you this so you forgive me, but just as you said, to make you feel better. And this is the truth on my side," I finished.

She finally spoke again, "I understand your pain and reason, as I won’t deny that Alice and Jennifer died because of me. I understand your anger and hate you must have felt back then, because I hated myself as well. As I said, I just wanted you to ask me, and let me say what was in my heart, let me plead for a mistake I made. I...." she choked once more.

I wiped her tears, "I understand, Eira. I should have asked you. I should have tried to believe you and find out what exactly happened. But I was too blinded by what I was shown and my own pain and loss," I said, my voice trembling. "I didn’t deserve to love you. I didn’t deserve to be loved by you. I was such a failure."

"You are not. I know how much you loved them. I know. Just... it’s just what I said..." rest of her words were swallowed by the sobs.

"And when you said it finally, I didn’t trust you," I said, remembering that night in the stable when she said she didn’t betray the pack, that she didn’t know Keiren. I was just blinded by how she shot my sister and killed her. "I hurt you instead. Among us five, I am the one who hurt you the most. I don’t deserve to even stand by you."

She clutched my hand. "You are right, I should hate you, but somehow I can’t. Maybe the world had hurt me so much that pain caused by you didn’t hurt as much as it should. I must be just shameless or numb in my brain. But I don’t hate you, that I know."

"No, you are not shameless or numb, you are just too kind," I said, lifting her hands to cover both my cheeks, feeling the gentleness in them against my skin. "You have always been so kind, Eira. You deserve so much better."

I let the feel of her touch sink in me and said calmly, "But I have to go. If I won’t, then Lucian will. I can’t let anything happen to him. I have to protect what’s left of Jennifer. And it’s about our kids as well. So, please don’t stop me. I will do everything I can to return to you."

She shook her head. "I don’t want any of you to go. You used to be the only one important to me, but now they are just as important. I... I love them..." She hesitated a little maybe due to our past relationship where we promised ourselves to each other.

But I had to let her know, I am happy seeing her happy with my brothers. "I know, and I am glad you feel for them. After so much pain, they deserved to be loved as well, and I am glad it’s you. Trust me, they love you as much as I do."

She offered a light nod, agreeing with what I said. "But I will be truly sad if something happens to you. I want you to return. Please, don’t get hurt."

"I will try not to." I wanted to say ahead that, in case I didn’t return, she should continue living the same way, happy with my brothers, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to scare her at the moment.

"If you return, I... will be your mate," she said.

I understood the meaning. "Then, I shall return back even if our enemies push me to the depths of hell."

"You must," she said, wiping my tears. "I will wait for you."