Violent Aesthetics

Chapter 36 "Why I Can't See It"

After sitting in the car for a while, it was probably due to the backlog of exhaustion that stimulated his mind to be abnormally clear. Zhu Yu tried to close his eyes and rest his mind but failed frequently, so he laughed at himself and had to get out of the car.He rubbed his face vigorously, allowing the chill to blow into every crevice of his body thoroughly, stimulating the brain that was always confused about the situation.

Zhu Yu walked slowly towards the research institute. Before, he always wanted to stop as close as possible. When he got out of the car, he also rushed away. This was the first time he paid attention to the surrounding scene.

"Are there ginkgo trees on both sides?"

"Before I knew it, it started to turn yellow."

Zhu Yu was walking on the stone brick floor with few pedestrians, and there were towering ginkgo trees on both sides. Although the trunk was slender, they stood upright and upright on both sides, which suddenly reminded him of Pei Shang's indifferent back.

Zhu Yu realized later that he thought of Pei Shang too many times, and shook his head to drive away the thought.

He continued to walk and looked around casually, but the most eye-catching thing was the golden ginkgo leaves, which were so brilliant that they were even a bit dazzling.

He thought, "When did it stand here? When did it start to turn yellow quietly? I don't know."

He sighed, "When did he fall in love with me? When did I fall in love with him? I don't even know."

Zhu Yu was a little annoyed at why he always didn't know anything.

"Hey, Mr. Zhu? Mr. Zhu is here again?" The receptionist at the front desk saw Zhu Yu's figure from a distance and rushed out to greet him, interrupting Zhu Yu's rare sentimental time.

"Well, you guys are busy with your own work, don't worry about me." Zhu Yu waved his hand, with an infallible smile on his face.

The reception girl stood at the door every day, and she had seen the relationship between him and Pei Shang clearly for a long time. Seeing that the atmosphere between the two seemed not right, she rolled her eyes and said with a smile, "Mr. Without the experiment, you can find Researcher Pei in the office or in the lounge."

Zhu Yu was startled, are they usually so conspicuous?Even he himself didn't dare to speculate casually, and he didn't know what kind of relationship they were in the eyes of outsiders.Is there a sense of propriety, did not ask directly, just smiled politely and strode towards the hall.

Every time he came to Pei Shang on the pretext of inspecting the work of ASH, but after so long, Zhu Yu still hadn't figured out what this sacred scientific research institution was doing.

Knowing that Pei Shang is in the lounge, Zhu Yu thought not to look for him, but his body had already stepped into the elevator to the third floor one step earlier.After getting out of the elevator, Zhu Yu put his hands down on both sides and straightened his back, trying to put on a lively appearance. He walked lightly to the door of the lounge and wanted to give Pei Shang a surprise, although whether it was a surprise has yet to be verified.

"Pei..." The joyful voice stopped abruptly when he pushed open the door, Zhu Yu swallowed his throat, and looked at Yu Yunyang who was sitting in Pei Shang's lounge with displeasure, "What are you doing here?"

Yu Yunyang lifted his chin towards Zhu Yu, lost the modesty he had pretended in the past, and said without much surprise in his tone, "Then why are you here?"

Zhu Yu was very displeased with this obviously unfriendly attitude of the visitor, and the accumulated suppressed emotions were like a fireball, and he was in urgent need of a punching bag, so he started to get angry at Yu Yunyang indiscriminately, "He is my person, my own family business Still need to talk to you? I've been upset for a long time, you're swearing at each other, it's really me! A senior brother wants to take advantage of others all day long. Before I was gone, you didn't know how much you went too far with him, relying on his temper It’s okay to bully, right? Let me tell you, stay away from him! Don’t let me see you wandering around him with ill intentions again. "

"I have bad intentions?" Yu Yunyang stood up suddenly, and looked at Zhu Yu angrily, "Who bullied him? Don't you have any self-knowledge? I tell you Zhu Yu, I don't care whether you and Pei Shang are in the end." What is the relationship, if you provoke me, you must be responsible for me! Do you know how much he has changed? Do you know how much he has paid? Not everyone is like you!"

Yu Yunyang accentuated the pronunciation of "you" sarcastically, clasped Zhu Yu's neckline with both hands, and said viciously, "Like you, Master Zhu, you can walk among thousands of flowers without touching yourself. You may just be playing for fun." , but Pei Shang is different, he is so stupid and so stubborn, he won't listen to any persuasion, and he will give you his heart if he decides to gouge it out!" As if thinking of something extremely painful, Yu Yun Yang's hand gripping Zhu Yu's neckline became tighter and tighter, the tendons on his knuckles burst out, and his shirt was wrinkled from scratches.

"I...I didn't just want to have fun..." Zhu Yu let the angry and aggressive Yu Yunyang strangle her neck, apologizing sadly.

"I was such a jerk, I really want to make it up..."

"I figured it out, I really love him and want to be with him..."

Yu Yunyang was still yelling and complaining as if venting his anger. Zhu Yu was pinched a little lack of oxygen. He couldn't hear the surrounding voices clearly, and he defended in a low voice in a daze, as if he was defending himself or someone else. a person who cannot hear.

It felt like a long century had passed, Zhu Yu was let go, and he held on to the wall weakly. He closed his eyes and looked at his watch again, only 10 minutes had passed.

Concern and harshness, guilt and struggle, only entanglement occurred in these 10 minutes.

Yu Yunyang left him a harsh word and left him and walked out of the lounge. Zhu Yu slid down the wall and sat on the ground. It wasn't that he couldn't stand up, but he suddenly felt very tired.

Thinking about it roughly, I guess it was a threat like "If you dare to bully him again, just wait, I will definitely make your life worse than death".

It's ridiculous, why don't you believe him?It's just a senior brother, but he seems to care more about Pei Shang than himself. Why was he always invisible before?

Only then did he realize that his former self would only pay attention to Pei Shang's occasional smile, but could not see the desolation in his eyes.She can only muddle along with him, talking about love without burden, but can't hear the silent sigh in Pei Shang's heart.

What he thought was a superficial liking was not the love that Pei Shang longed for at all.

But now, when he finally stepped into the dense fog forest, he was shocked to find that such a heavy barrier was hidden under the seemingly peaceful tree canopy, which had already been piled up as a wall with the passage of time.

The forest that had received him had protected itself and guarded him heavily after being ruthlessly set on fire.

What can he do?

What does he have to do to see into the walls and get him accepted again?

Zhu Yu lowered his head and rubbed his hair messily.

After a while, I stood up, rearranged my clothes, and tried to make a bright smile in front of the mirror. After confirming that it was correct, I quietly closed the door and walked towards the office.

"It's not in the lounge, it must be in the office." Zhu Yushou took a deep breath and walked to the office with the messy emotions in his heart.The researchers don't use the office very much, so the large area is scattered with only one or two people sitting on the seats. Zhu Yu saw Pei Shang leaning over to write something from a distance, and he put on that bright smile again. step over.

"Dangdangdang!" Zhu Yu pawed at Pei Shang's desk, trying to meet his gaze, "I'm here to inspect, I just passed by and I was afraid you missed me too much, so I came in to see you, how can I do it!"

Pei Shang seemed to have encountered some difficulty, he frowned slightly and looked at the form in front of him without turning his eyes, turning a deaf ear to his surroundings.

"Well, how about this, what do you want for lunch? Japanese food or seafood? Home-cooked food or Western food?" Zhu Yu continued to ask in a brisk tone, and gently pulled Pei Shang's hand that was not writing with his long arm over the cover.

"Then if you don't choose, I will choose. I will wait for you at the door for dinner later. You can work at ease, be good." Zhu Yuqiang suppressed the frustration in his heart with a smile.

Pei Shang didn't raise his head once until Zhu Yu turned his head and left.

At lunch time, Zhu Yu stood guard at the door ahead of time, grabbed Pei Shang forcefully and interlocked his fingers with him, and dragged him into the car.

Warmth and cold touch, but it is a strange fit.

After all, this is actually the first time that two people have interlocked their fingers.Before meeting Pei Shang, these small gestures of intimacy were useless in Zhu Yu's view. He was always good at handling a relationship in the way of lovers, not lovers.

And now, he began to naturally crave touches, kisses, holding hands and hugs, and also began to feel frustrated at the lack of response.

Still one person said and the other finished lunch, Zhu Yu could only smile far-fetchedly, and sent Pei Shang back to the research institute.

In the evening, when Pei Shang was sent home, Zhu Yu stood at the door against the door frame, but did not dare to act on his own initiative.He carefully looked at Pei Shang who went into the living room to change clothes, and he was worried for a long time before he said, "Pei Pei, can I come in?"

Pei Shang seemed to pause for a moment when he hung his clothes, turned his head to look at him, and turned back without saying a word.

Zhu Yu's self-taught "Pei Shangwei Expression Interpretation Method" has no effect under this situation, and he can't figure out what it means.I had no choice but to scratch my head, and asked again in a pleading tone, "Pei Pei, I mean can I sleep here?"

Pei Shang didn't even look at him this time, and went straight to the sink to wash his hands.

Zhu Yu boldly said, "If you don't say no, you agree. If you have something to do, just sleep and talk to him slowly at night." He stepped into the living room.

Until he was wandering around at home and Pei Shang didn't intend to drive him out after taking a shower, Zhu Yu secretly rejoiced that there was still hope.

After Pei Shang entered the bedroom, he also touched the bed, but when he just lifted the quilt, Pei Shang turned his head and looked at him expressionlessly.

At that moment, Zhu Yu inexplicably felt a sense of guilt that he raped the innocent little daughter-in-law, obviously he was the one who was slept with!

Zhu Yu went to bed quickly and calmly, wrapped in the warm quilt and smelled the faint red sandalwood fragrance on the pillow before his tense heart relaxed a little.He huddled under the quilt, secretly observed Pei Shang who was leaning against the bedside cushion and reading a book with gold-rimmed glasses through the gap in the quilt: the soft warm light shone on the eyelashes, making the curls more dense The metal edge on the bridge of the nose and the light complement each other, making Pei Shang's edges and corners soft.

While lamenting the other party's exquisite facial features again, he couldn't help leaning over.

Zhu Yu moved slowly, and soon his head touched Pei Shang's waist. The soft cotton cloth was so comfortable that he rubbed it a few more times.Fumbling with his hands in the bed, he quickly touched Pei Shang's cotton pajama pants. Seeing that the other party didn't resist, Zhu Yu's hand went up the base of his thigh, covering the area between the other's legs while sizing him up. In response, he began to knead.

The close distance made Zhu Yu clearly feel that Pei Shang's breathing began to speed up, and the rise and fall of his chest became larger, as if he was encouraged, Zhu Yu suddenly became more courageous, and suddenly turned over and pressed on Pei Shang's body to sit up Sitting right on his waist, he put his arms around Pei Shang's neck and began to kiss him passionately.

Zhu Yu is used to sleeping naked. At this moment, he is only wearing a pair of underwear, provocatively rubbing back and forth between Pei Shang's waist and abdomen through a thin cloth, while it is eagerly sucking his lips. The silent space is full of his sucking and swallowing. sound of water.Soon, he let go of the bite on his lips, and began to penetrate deep into his mouth, stirring Pei Shang's tongue to invite him to dance together, but no matter how hard he tried his best, the other party just didn't respond, just being pulled by him So, not even a symbolic cooperation.

Zhu Yu was in a hurry. He touched the body fluid that had slipped down to his chin due to the fierce and lingering kiss, quickly took off his underwear and opened Pei Shang's pants, and stretched the body fluid in his hand a few times before trying to hold Pei Shang's genitals. sit down.

Just as he was about to sit down, he stopped with a hand, and a sullen voice sounded,

"Go down."

This is the first time that Pei Shang's voice has emotions in this period of time, but it is in such a situation.

Zhu Yu didn't know how to react, he continued to hold Pei Shang's penis and wanted to sit down, but for some reason he couldn't do it, he was suddenly very angry, but there was nothing he could do about it.

He suddenly vented all his strength, and he lay down in Pei Shang's arms, desperate for comfort as before.But this time, until he fell asleep, there was no hug on his back.

In this way, several days passed like copying, Pei Shang did not resist the appearance of Zhu Yu, they lived together as before, ate together, picked up and dropped off work carefully, and fell asleep together in the same bed, Pei Shang seemed to be just talking Just a little less.

But, they are not what they used to be, something is broken and spoiled, Zhu Yu is very aware of this fact, at least on the surface, Pei Shang refuses to touch him or have sex with him.If he hadn't been forced to answer by his name, Pei Shang would not have responded to Zhu Yu's words.

Zhu Yu didn't know what to do. Every night before going to sleep, he would hug Pei Shang tightly and stroke the other's flat belly, feel the other's body temperature and the little life that had existed for a short time, as if this could prove that they were not strangers. , he began to cling to Pei Shang extremely, and the slightest reaction would make him uneasy.

He opened his mouth countless times to be honest about the past, but swallowed it countless times, repeatedly warning himself that the timing was wrong.

"Um..."

In his sleep, Zhu Yu wanted to turn over but felt restrained. A rustling sound woke up Zhu Yu, who was in a light sleep recently.He opened his eyes, the surroundings were still pitch black and he couldn't see anything clearly, but his body was firmly pressed down.

Wanting to twist, he suddenly found that his limbs were tightly tied at the four corners. He turned his head in panic and looked at the person on top of him. It was Pei Shang.

The heart that hadn't let go increased again when he saw Pei Shang's expression clearly.

I saw that the moonlight reflected on Pei Shang's left face through the gauze curtain, making Pei Shang's skin more porcelain-white, the outline of the bridge of the nose more obvious, and the other half of his face plunged into darkness.His eyes were no longer numb and indifferent as before, but infected with a sickly nostalgic madness, and the corners of his mouth raised a strange arc. He held Zhu Yu's face in both hands, and slowly moved down, as if to see through Zhu Yu's face. Pupils, find out your own figure from inside and let it go.

Zhu Yu couldn't be more familiar with this look. During the days when he was imprisoned in the small black room, Pei Shang always stared at him so creepily, but now that he had enjoyed the warmth, he was even more afraid in his heart.

He flinched and wanted to break free, but he was so helpless that he could only be forced to meet Pei Shang's blatant gaze that seemed to eat him, and a stern and hateful question came from his ear

"Are you trying to escape?"

"Are you leaving me again?"